If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.
quotes.prolix.nu/Humor/Jack_Handey/
There is nothing sadder than a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Give it up little guy.
Today I accidentally stepped on a snail on the sidewalk in front of our house. And I thought, I too am like that snail. I build a defensive wall around myself, a "shell" if you will. But my shell isn't made out of a hard, protective substance. Mine is made out of tinfoil and paper bags.
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone’s neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?
If you are ever skydiving, and your parachute fails, and your friends are all watching youu fall, I think a good gag would be to pretend you're swimming.
http://www.thedigitalcourier.com/
"A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure."~ Unknown Carol's fb page
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